Children and Sport

25 Apr

I’ll come straight out and say it, I am a huge believer in the benefits of children playing at least one competitive sport.

I have been lucky enough that all my children have been reasonably active and interested in sport from a very early age. It does probably help that Dad enjoyed playing sport and as he has got older now enjoys watching a lot of sport of the TV, so it is always around them at home.

In this day and age of computers, mobile phones, xboxes, Wii, Playstations, Ipads etc etc it is easy to see how our kids get sucked into sitting on their backsides all day long, not playing sport and generally turning into socially inadequate obese teenagers.

I’ve got news for you kiddies – GET OUTSIDE AND RUN AROUND IN THE FRESH AIR, IT IS ACTUALLY GOOD FOR YOU.

My kids have played (remember I am in Australia) Australian Rules Football, Rugby Union, Rugby League, Cricket, Baseball, soccer, Golf, Netball and Basketball at different stages. Yes it cost me a small fortune in memberships, uniforms, equipment but I don’t care. My kids all stayed active, were very fit, had great self-esteem, were outgoing and actually knew how to communicate with people “face to face” instead of only via a mobile phone with “lol and btw”

While the side effects of my kids all being active, fit and keeping their weight in check is great, I don’t believe that  is the best outcome. I am really very concerned that a lot of our children are becoming socially inept. A lot of children (this applies to adults as well) are losing the knowledge, the skill of meeting someone, starting up a conversation and going from there. A lot of the time nothing will come of it except a brief memory of a moment in time. Other times you may develop a friendship that lasts for years or better still, maybe meet our future partner.

With some of my children now being adults I have been through numerous 18 and 21st Birthday parties. A group of us from the local football club arranged that we would help each other out at our respective kids 18th birthday parties by providing a bit of security. When there was a party on, 4 or 5 of us Dads would go round to the venue and act as security – keep out gate crashers and make sure that once the alcohol started kicking in, that things didn’t get out of control.

Standing back on the side watching these parties was a massive eye opener for me. You could really see the kids that had social skills and were comfortable being in a social setting. They mingled and mixed all night. They were comfortable talking with anyone. Then there would be the smaller groups of people who stayed in their small little groups all nigh and looked decidedly uncomfortable. Over many of these parties you got to see a lot of the same kids over and over and I started talking to them. I thought it might have been because those kids are the “jocks” and we’re not but it really wasn’t. It wasn’t a social segregation based around those that played sport and those that didn’t. These kids were invited to the parties because they were all friends at school. However when they got into a social situation they seemed to really struggle to mingle and mix with people they didn’t know.

So my recommendation is – If you want your kids to be healthy, fit and socially competent, get them into a sport as soon as possible.

Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.

For more parenting advice be sure to join our newsletter

‘Till next time

Ian

P.S – Did you love”The Secret” Want to know how to apply those amazing strategies in your role as a parent to teenagers, then you need to run out (or at least click out, lol) and grab this program right now – The Inspired Parent Course – based on the principles of The Secret

Click Here for instant access.

P.P.S – Remember there is a 100% 60 day no risk money back guarantee.

Daddy, Is The Easter Bunny Real?

25 Apr

As a parent we all wait for the day when we get the question about “is the easter bunny real” or ” is “Santa Clause real” and sometimes answering this can be tricky.

As a parent I love the excitement when the kids are young around Christmas and Easter time. The anticipation from them as the big day gets closer and closer is truly one of the highlights of being a parent, probably only bettered by the actual day when you hear the screams of joy “the easter bunnies been, look at all my easter eggs!”

I don’t intend getting into the religious side of things around these 2 big holidays – I’ll leave that to someone else. I just want to look at the issue of what to do when you are hit with the big questions “Is the Easter Bunny Real?” (I’ll go with the Easter bunny because it’s Easter but is applies to Christmas and Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy or any other make-believe character)

Over my 5 children I have had this question from about age 4 and a couple never asked. I assumed they thought that the present quantity might reduce if there wasn’t an Easter bunny, so better to just stay quiet and hope for the best.

With the younger ones I found it easy to turn it back on them – What do you think?

Normally I got a response that went something like “I think he’s real but John says he’s not”

I’d reply something like “John doesn’t know everything. What do you think?”

The normal reply here was “I know there’s an Easter bunny, John is just being mean to me”

I would then agree and provide some positive assurance and that would be the end of that.

When they start getting a bit older, say around 7, 8 & 9 the conversation would start the same way but the answer to “What do you think” would start to become “I don’t think the Easter bunnies real”

Here I would say “Why do you think that” and wait for the answer which would normally be something like “All the kids are saying it’s not real” or something like that.

I would then follow-up with “How does that make you feel?” Normally this wasn’t an issue. We would get into a bit of a conversation and most times that children had actually thought about the practical side of things and realised themselves it wasn’t real and just needed some confirmation.Once the Easter bunny was sorted, the conversation would go something like “OK, I get it……..but what about Santa” and the whole process would start again “What do you think?”

The only one I had problems with was my little girl and we only dealt with this last Christmas. All went really well until about 5 minutes after we finished talking when all of a sudden she started crying.

“Whats wrong” her mom asked

“You lied to me, why did you lie to me. I don’t like it when you lie to me!” she replied

Now this was challenge. Technically I guess she’s right. We, as parents lie to our children about these imaginary figures, but we do it with the best intentions at heart.

This took much longer to sort out and was a much tougher conversation to work through. The key was to listen to her, really listen and try to understand how an 8 year old would feel in this circumstance. She felt betrayed and there was a dent put into the level of trust that exists between her and us.

In the end it was a very simple statement that seemed to satisfy her.

“We do it because it gives us parents an excuse to buy lots more presents for you because you are getting presents from 2 people instead of one”

Appealing to the materialistic side of things may not be the best lesson but it certainly diffused this issue until 5 minutes later when she came back looking a bit disturbed again and asked

“Does that mean I will only get half the presents now?”

and that is a topic for another day…

Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.

For more parenting advice be sure to join our newsletter

‘Till next time

Ian

P.S – Did you love”The Secret” Want to know how to apply those amazing strategies in your role as a parent to teenagers, then you need to run out (or at least click out, lol) and grab this program right now – The Inspired Parent Course – based on the principles of The Secret

Click Here for instant access.

P.P.S – Remember there is a 100% 60 day no risk money back guarantee.

Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses

20 Apr

At times, when dealing with all the issues that being the parent of a teenager brings, it can be hard to step back and enjoy the good times.

In my experience and the experiences of parents I deal with on a daily basis there are always beautiful moments with our teenage children that we need to take in and enjoy. These “little rays of sunshine” may be few and may be far apart but it is still important to acknowledge and enjoy them. It is these moments that remind us that our teenage children are not two-headed fire-breathing dragons intent on destroying us and them but lonely confused people caught in between the life of a child and that of an adult.

It may be as simple as a smile and a “Hi Mom” or something as complex and unexpected as a surprise gift or a big hug. As parents we have to be switched on and quick thinking enough to accept these special moments for what they are, a brief moment in time where our teenage child has had the clarity of mind to express how they really feel.

As hard and as tough as the relationship between the teenager and the parent can be, neither party really hates the other. While at time we may feel that we could strangle them or request that the Government put a bounty on teenagers in general (lol) deep down there is that special bond, that special love that can only exist between a parent and their child.

That is why when one of these special moments happen, realise it and accept it for what it is, a sincere and genuine showing of how our teenagers really feel. We need to take a mental “snapshot” of that moment in time and file it away in our brain where we can draw upon it the next time there we are having a massive disagreement or argument about someone wanting to go out or buy something or whatever may be the flash point for that particular episode.

Find that beautiful moment of time that you filed away and review it, use it to find strength and to remind yourself that you teenage child does in fact love you and that as a parent you are doing a good job regardless of what have happened in the last 5 minutes.

Latter in the day or evening when you finally have that quiet 5 minutes to yourself that all parents crave, review your special moment again. Use it to help find inner peace and remove some of the stress’ of the day. Remember, you can never be too busy to “Stop and smell the roses”

Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.

For more parenting advice be sure to join our newsletter

‘Till next time

Ian

P.S – Did you love”The Secret” Want to know how to apply those amazing strategies in your role as a parent to teenagers, then you need to run out (or at least click out, lol) and grab this program right now – The Inspired Parent Course – based on the principles of The Secret

Click Here for instant access.

P.P.S – Remember there is a 100% 60 day no risk money back guarantee.

What Information Is Important To You As The Parent Of A Teenager

19 Apr

Here’s your chance to tell me whats important to you!

What information do you want to help in your role as the parent of a teenager?

I am in the process of contacting and interviewing experts in different fields about the issues that parents have with teenagers, the issues teenagers have with their parents and everything in between.

I am planning to cover;

  • Drugs – the use of, how to detect, what to do if you suspect your teenagers using, how to prevent and if it’s o late for prevention  some intervention strategies
  • Alcohol – how to introduce it, how to manage it, binge drinking and how to stop it
  • Relationships – between parents and teenagers, between our teenagers and their peers, relationships with the opposite sex, relationships with authorities
  • Schooling – How to keep our teenagers in school longer, career planning
  • Sex – When is the right age, how to talk to our teenagers about sex, safe sex, teenage pregnancy

This is just a short list of things I have thought up over the last day or two.

I am sure that you – the reader, will have your own issues that being a parent is throwing up at you on a daily basis. Nothing is taboo or off limits as far as I am concerned.

Something I have just thought of while I am typing this is the issue of homosexuality. How do we prepare for our teenagers coming to us and saying they think they are “gay”

Please reply, send me a comment ASAP. This site is for you so get involved and let me know what are your burning questions.

So go on, scroll down and send me a comment so I can try to answer your question by finding an expert somewhere around the world.

Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.

For more parenting advice be sure to join our newsletter

‘Till next time

Ian

P.S – Did you love”The Secret” Want to know how to apply those amazing strategies in your role as a parent to teenagers, then you need to run out (or at least click out, lol) and grab this program right now – The Inspired Parent Course – based on the principles of The Secret

Click Here for instant access.

P.P.S – Remember there is a 100% 60 day no risk money back guarantee.

Alcohol and Teenagers – A Parent’s Dilema

18 Apr

A topic that comes up often at Dinner Parties and in the media is alcohol and teenagers. I am writing this in a country where it is legal for people to buy and drink alcohol at 18 years of age. This is also the same age they can start driving. Being able to get their driver’s license the same day they are allowed to start drinking doesn’t seem like the best idea to me, even though for the first 3 years they have their license they are not allowed to have any alcohol in their system when driving.

Some parents of teenagers stick rigidly to the fact that their children can not drink until they’re 18 because “that’s the law“.

I know myself when I was a teenager (many years ago) that I couldn’t wait to try alcohol. I watched my parents and their friends drinking and they seemed to have a good time. It also symbolised to me, that once I started drinking, that I would be an adult. I can remember asking my parents “can I try some? or can I have a taste?” and they would always say “no, you’re not allowed to drink until you turn 18″

What they didn’t know was that I was drinking regularly and at times heavily behind their backs. The allure of alcohol had gotten to me. I remember the first time one of my friends older brother had some beer and let us 15 year olds buy a couple of cans. It tasted horrible but we drank it! We felt so grown up, we were half drunk and thought we where invincible. What a great feeling! Because most of my friends had older brothers and sisters we were able to “buy” alcohol from them or use them to go and buy it for us.

I know now that teenagers and large quantities are not a good mixture. Drinking removes or reduces the normal inhibitions that teenagers have. It makes them more outgoing, more confidant and provides a sense of bravado. Needless to say, a lot of my friends and myself soon found ourselves in a bit of trouble with the local police over very minor things. Most of the time they were silly, harmless pranks that didn’t hurt anyone, but occasionally things were a bit more serious and the repercussions were much greater.

As a result of my experiences as a teenager with alcohol, once I became a parent and my children were entering those problematic teenager years I decided to handle the alcohol issue very different to the way my parents had with me.

I decided that I would take the mystery out and away from alcohol. I think my kids where 12 or 13 when they started asking if they could try a mouthful when they say one of their parents drinking. I said “OK”, I would then make sure that what they got to try (when I say try, I mean a very small mouthful – just a sip really) was either a strong red wine or a dry white wine or perhaps a small sip of straight whiskey.

Needless to say they would have one sip, screw their faces up, spit it out and say YUCK! that horrible, I don’t know how you can drink it.

At home, as the teenage children grew I very rarely wouldn’t let them have a sip. All of a sudden one day they are now 15 & 16. My kids knew that they could have a small drink at home for special occasions like birthdays etc. They didn’t see it as a big deal. There was no mystery about alcohol in our household. They knew what is smelt like and what it tasted like. At seventeen we would often have a couple of beers together while doing the gardening or working on their new (actually very old) car.

I will not sit up here and try to tell you that as a result of the way I handled my role as a parent when it came to teenagers and alcohol is perfect. I still had the occasional time when one of them came home drunk but that was the exception rather than the rule. Not once did the Police bring them home for either being drunk in public or doing something stupid.

I believe that I took the mystery out of alcohol for my teenagers. It didn’t hold the same intrigue that it did for me when I was a teenager. None of them have grown up alcoholics. They enjoy a social drink and drink responsibly now they are older.

Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.

For more parenting advice be sure to join our newsletter

‘Till next time

Ian

P.S – Did you love”The Secret” Want to know how to apply those amazing strategies in your role as a parent to teenagers, then you need to run out (or at least click out, lol) and grab this program right now – The Inspired Parent Course – based on the principles of The Secret

Click Here for instant access.

P.P.S – Remember there is a 100% 60 day no risk money back guarantee.

The Inspired Parent Course

How can parents discipline teenagers today…

17 Apr

The issue of how parents discipline their teenagers is a one of those age-old questions and responses have changed dramatically as the years go by.

It was only a couple of generations ago when discipline generally meant smacking or something along this line. I remember my Dad telling me stories about when he was growing up in the 1920 and 30’s of his Dad having a thin branch from a Birch tree that was  the favorite form of punishment. Dad assured me that after you had half a dozen strokes of that branch across your bottom you thought very carefully before you make that same mistake again.

In todays day and age corporal punishment is frowned upon, if not illegal. The question then becomes “is there a better, more effective way”

With little exception most would agree the answer is a resounding “yes”

Remembering that teenagers want and need rules and boundaries, it is only a matter of time before they break one of the rules. It becomes our job as parents to then determine what the punishment will be. A system I have followed starts with related or similar. If your teenager stays out past the agreed curfew, an appropriate punishment is they are not allowed to go out the next time they want to. Not you have to mow the grass tomorrow. The second is respectful. Our role as a parent is to provide punishment without humiliating or putting down our teenager. Yelling at them in front of their peers with only cause extreme embarrassment. As parents we must retain our composure at all times. Yelling or screaming is not appropriate. We need to remain in control and speak firmly and decisively. The third factor I try to consider is Reasonable. Take the situation of your teenager getting home 40 minutes after the agreed curfew. “Your not going out for 12 months and we are  not buying you that car you wanted” is not reasonable. “You are grounded for a week” is reasonable

Another couple of points I would like to add is that in my experience parenting my teenagers, they have little concept of 3, 6 or 12 months or next year. They are generally only focussed on the next day, the next week or two. So to punish them by saying you’re not going on the school camp is 8 months time is just about useless.. Punishment needs to revolve around something very close in time to the initial incident of braking whatever rule is was. The second part of this is that we need to act swiftly – as soon as we know there is a problem. “Wait ’till your father gets home”  or “we’ll talk in the morning about this” are making the parenting role more difficult. Remember, our teenagers live in the “now” so we have to deal with things “now”

I also find it useful to ponder for a moment about the reason why we need punishment at all. My view, in my role as parent to several teenagers, is that punishment is required to teach our teenagers that in today’s society there are consequences for breaking the rules. Secondly, rules are in place for a reason. They are there to protect all members of society and to allow our society to operate in an environment where we can all feel safe and secure.

Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.

For more parenting advice be sure to join our newsletter

‘Till next time

Ian

P.S – Did you love”The Secret” Want to know how to apply those amazing strategies in your role as a parent to teenagers, then you need to run out (or at least click out, lol) and grab this program right now – The Inspired Parent Course – based on the principles of The Secret

Click Here for instant access.

P.P.S – Remember there is a 100% 60 day no risk money back guarantee.

The Inspired Parent Course

My Review of “The Inspired Parenting Course”

16 Apr

This will be my first ever review of a parenting resource but after buying “The Inspired Parenting Course“, going through the huge amount of information, implementing the strategies and experiencing the benefits I just had to let people know how incredibly good this really is.

As a massive fan of the book and the movie “The Secret” once I realised this course is based on interviews with 5 teachers from The Secret;

  • Dr Joe Vitale“If you really want to make a difference with kids, live this life of  happiness and they will wonder what in the world you are doing and they will  start to model you.”
  • Mike Dooley“Because kids have not had to go through the decades of false programming  that perhaps you and I have, they’re very open to truth.”
  • Marie Diamond“When a child is born, their aura field is as big as a room.”
  • Bob Doyle“When a child is not allowed to develop their passion, they begin to  feel ripped off….That’s how we end up with a bunch of thirtysomething’s  who hate going to their jobs.”
  • Dr John Demarnini – “The wise parent is the one that knows how to communicate within the  child’s values and honors their genius. When they do, when children are loved  the way they want to be loved, magic occurs.”  

I was already sold!

The second thing that struck me was the massive amount of information that came with The Inspired Parenting Course. There is a;

  • 12 lesson, 75 page workbook based on the interviews with the expert panel
  • Then there is the complete audios from the interviews – over 200 minutes
  • And the full transcripts of each interview.

This alone was enough to convince me to buy then I saw the list of incredible bonus';

  • Interview with Anisa Aven, Law Of Attraction Coach, audio and transcript
  • Interview with Elyse Hope Killoran, Law Of Attraction Expert – audio and transcript
  • The Self Empowerment Guidebook by Chris Cade
  • Raising Happy Kids eBook including 8 lesson e-course PLUS the Fun Box Of Success Tools

To top it all off there is a 100%, no questions asked 60 day money guarantee.

I am a massive fan of the principles taught in The Secret and I thought that if the authors have successfully integrated these principles into a laser targeted program that will help with the relationship with my kids, why not at least have a look, there’s absolutely no risk and if it sucks I can just get my money back…

Well, am I glad I did buy it. This program is absolutely brilliant! They have taken everything from The Secret and adapted it to perfectly apply to our role as parents.

This course and information is so good, so thorough and so comprehensive I really can’t do it justice in only a short blog (or even long) The 12 lesson course just blew my away. It includes really easy strategies that I was able to implement virtually immediately. As soon as I changed the way I was communicating and dealing with my kids – they changed! The improvements were magical. You know how sometimes with your kids there is just that underlying feeling of stress, anger, hostility. After implementing only a couple of these amazing strategies all those unspoken issues just seemed to melt away – almost instantly.

If you find yourself wondering like I did;

  • How do I bring out all the potential in my child
  • What do I need to do to strengthen and build my relationship with my children
  • Why are my children so disobedient, so rebellious and what can I do about it
  • My child is being bullied at school and I feel helpless. How can I help
  • How do I discipline my children without breaking their spirit or suppressing their wonderful individual personalities

Then you need to run out (or at least click out, lol) and grab this program right now – The Inspired Parent Course – based on the principles of The Secret

Click Here for instant access.

Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below.

For more parenting advice be sure to join our newsletter

‘Till next time

Ian

PS – Remember there is a 100% 60 day no risk money back guarantee.

The Inspired Parent Course

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.